I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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