I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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