I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
