ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
