Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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