Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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