she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
