dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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