About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
