lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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