i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
