I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
