I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
