That's intense
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
