So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
