fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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