You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize