Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I wear drunk well.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
