It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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