yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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