Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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