if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
