I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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