I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize