I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
