There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Come see our sink grown plant.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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