i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
