It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
so let's talk penis.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
