I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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