i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
