I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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