Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
