and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
where are my eyebrows?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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