how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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