You're completely useless in the revolution.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
