the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
