I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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