I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
This is classic penis vs brain.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
