i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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