I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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