pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i barfeds in our rink
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
