Will you blow on my dice?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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