is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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