i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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