Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
