he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
