I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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