Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
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