I need help removing her.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
