just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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