so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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