My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
