im drinking this country out of the recession.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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