I love black thongs
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
