I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
