How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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