It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
