I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize