You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
