yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I want a musical about memes.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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