Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
