Someone shit on the floor
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
