i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
