absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize