let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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