Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
