your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
