Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
