I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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